Team DailyPedia
I hate you and then I love you. It’s like I want to throw you off a cliff and rush to the bottom to catch you.
Have you ever wondered why we often fight with our loved ones? Why we get annoyed easily even over the simplest things like when someone doesn’t put the toilet seat down or when a friend doesn’t like the same things we like.
The fights do not mean we don’t love them. They have this very special place in our hearts and admit it or not, we cannot live without them. We understand that we all have different personalities but perhaps there’s more to it that we need to look at closely.
According to Elite Daily, there’s a scientific explanation about this puzzling behavior.
Our patience is shorter when it comes to the behaviors of people we spend the most time with.
Dr. Alex Lickerman confirms that we easily get annoyed about the negative things we see in the people around us as compared to those we do not know.
One good example would be when you are riding a public transport. A group of passengers keep talking in a very loud voice as if they own the jeepney. To avoid making a scene, you just kept your silence until you reach your destination.
Now, why can’t we extend that same tolerance with our friend and family?
We consider our loved ones as “safe” targets.
Aggression has two types: Direct and indirect. Based on Psychology professor Debora South Richardson’s research, people are directly aggressive with their siblings, either verbal or physical. They find it safe to confront their siblings without being indirect because they know they will always be siblings no matter what. She also added that we also do this approach with our romantic partners.
As for indirect aggression, we and our friends often apply the passive-aggressive behavior. Meaning, instead of voicing out our irritation towards them, we resort to the silent treatment to avoid confrontation. This doesn’t mean that there isn’t any tension in the air. This also includes spreading rumors within your circle of friends, thus creating a false sense of security.
We know that after the fights, those who love us will still continue to love us.
At the end of all the brawl, the exchange of hurtful words, the mindless actions, we would find ourselves back in the arms of our loved ones. That gives us the confidence that we are being loved despite our crazy attitude.
Fighting, according to Psychosomatic Medicine, keeps the people involved healthy. A study posted by CNN showed that health risks of stress and holding on to anger causes stress. We don’t suggest you start fighting with your family or spouse. What we mean is don’t hold onto your anger. Be honest about how you feel. Then resolve the issue after. It will not only keep your mind and body healthy, but it will also be beneficial to your relationship.
Featured image via huffingtonpost.com
