What it feels to be an EFFEM: An effeminate guy’s journey

  • A guy was concerned with his voice if it sounded effeminate
  • He remembers the feeling of not being accepted because of the feminine attributes he possesses
  • These people needed to be accepted and be loved

Have you experienced having a phone call and your identity mistaken after hearing your voice?

We probably felt offended and sometimes bullied by people who don’t understand human nature. Just like Richard Hey Darla who shared his experience, when a guy he matched on Tinder called him.

Richard said they were having a pleasant conversation when the guy suddenly asked him if his voice bothered him because of sound too effeminate.

Upon hearing the question, his heart sink as he remembered the feeling of not being accepted because of the feminine attributes he possesses. And while having their conversation, he assured the other guy that being too effeminate isn’t a concern for him.

The encyclopedia says “effeminacy refers specifically to males who are not sufficiently masculine, according to the expectation of their culture and/or context.”

This means that if a man failed to show his strength, virility, emotional control, and lack of demonstrativeness then this may be seen as more feminine. But this is not only pertaining to man, this even happens to women who are feminine but have masculine attributes who are often called “butch.”

For men who do not manifest masculine traits, whose development is delayed, are usually being ridiculed and bullied by calling them sissy, pussy, queer, faggot, pansy, pouf (British), cream puff, fairy, or the most famous name calling – mama’s boy. And having this shameful experience pushes them to distance themselves from their peers.

Here are some of the netizens who shared their experiences of being effem:

Richard’s Twitter post is an eye-opener, that failing to exhibit the characteristics expected of a man or woman, due to delayed physical development, isn’t a choice of their own.

And these people needed to be accepted and be loved; for them to find love within themselves.

Written by Rhelyn Harder

An open-minded person who seeks to inspire readers through writing. She believes that having the freedom and courage to express oneself is an opportunity to influence others.

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