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When you lost the person you thought you’d share ‘forever’ with

Don’t. Don’t cry. Be still and strong.

You’re bigger than the pain

I know, pain lingers. It kills you, memories flood your mind. But you’re more than the tears that fall down every time you pass by your favorite restaurant or see that shirt you both dreamt of buying. Your plans, the dream destinations, long-term goals, you have to accept that they’re gone. For someone who is battling pain during the season that should be celebrated with a feast, here are some pieces of advice for you to consider.

Make sure you’re always occupied

When you’re not doing anything, it’s the perfect time when memories come rushing through. So, to avoid this, travel with your friends or at least go out with them. Devote your time to work, cook, watch, and never mourn for something that will never come back.

Sleep

When there’s nothing left to do, rest. Sleep the whole day, you deserve that. But flooding your pillows with your tears has no sense at all. It is a common coping mechanism, but it has to stop in time.

Know when to stop

No one or nothing can ever dictate you when to stop. It’s all in your heart and mind. But my advice would be, stop as early as you can. Don’t let those tears go out of your eyes. Instead, look at that mirror and ask yourself. If I will not let go of all the drama inside my body, how can I move forward?

Move on and move forward

Take your time. No one is rushing you. The difference between ‘move on’ and ‘move forward’ is that the latter is not afraid to show weakness. Letting go is not a piece of cake. You are prone to being vulnerable. Forcing yourself to forget can cause further damage.

And the last thing you should do to accept the fact that you had lost the person you think you’d share forever with.

Forgiveness

I always believe that ‘to forget’ is never the solution, forgiveness is. But before you give it to others, forgive yourself first. Forgive yourself for not being yourself for a moment, because you are busy crying in silence. Then forget the person who caused you so much pain. Forgive everything that has happened during the time you are together. Forgive those happy moments for you have not cherished them. Forgive those dark times for you have not anticipated it.


There’s no shortcut to moving on, but taking baby steps will never be a wrong move. Don’t be afraid to admit that you’re weak. Be strong to stand up. Everyone understands everything you’re going through. Everyone can be you.

Written by Denis Santos

A Journalism student who considers nature as his second home. Likes to travel on a budget, and believes tofu and nuggets come hand in hand.

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