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This Mom Bravely Teaches Her Son that it is Okay not to Share; Her Reason will Shock You

Most parents teach their kids to share their toys or food because it is the right thing to do and that ‘sharing is caring’.

However, what people fail to see at times is that some kids aren’t comfortable of doing so not because they are selfish but because they just feel forced to say yes when what they really wanted to say is the exact opposite – no.

Nowadays, sharing seems to be an obligation for the children which is funny considering the some adults doesn’t even practice what they preach.

Finally, one parent named Alanya Kolberg got fed up by it and decided to stand up for the little kids who don’t feel comfortable of sharing their personal belongings to someone they do not know. Read her eye-opening post below:

As soon as we walked in the park, Carson was approached by at least 6 boys, all at once demanding that he share his transformer, Minecraft figure, and truck. He was visibly overwhelmed and clutched them to his chest as the boys reached for them. He looked at me.

“You can tell them no, Carson,” I said. “Just say no. You don’t have to say anything else.”

Of course, as soon as he said no, the boys ran to tattle to me that he was not sharing. I said, “He doesn’t have to share with you. He said no. If he wants to share, he will.”

That got me some dirty looks from other parents. Here is the thing though:

If I, an adult, walked into the park eating a sandwich, am I required to share my sandwich with strangers in the park? No!

Would any well-mannered adult, a stranger, reach out to help themselves to my sandwich, and get huffy if I pulled it away? No again.

So really, while you’re giving me dirty looks, presumably thinking my son and I are rude, whose manners are lacking here? The person reluctant to give his 3 toys away to 6 strangers, or the 6 strangers demanding to be given something that doesn’t belong to them, even when the owner is obviously uncomfortable?

The goal is to teach our children how to function as adults. While I do know some adults who clearly never learned how to share as children, I know far more who don’t know how to say no to people, or how to set boundaries, or how to practice self-care. Myself included.

In any case, Carson only brought the toys to share with my friend’s little girl, who we were meeting at the park. He only didn’t want to share with the greedy boys because he was excited to surprise her with them.

The next time your snowflake runs to you, upset that another child isn’t sharing, please remember that we don’t live in a world where it’s conducive to give up everything you have to anyone just because they said so, and I’m not going to teach my kid that that’s the way it works.

Kolberg clearly indicated that her child is taught how to share with friends and family, but sharing to a complete stranger whom her child isn’t comfortable with is a big no-no. In fact, she taught her kids that it is alright to say no or to refuse when it is really what the kids want.

Her Facebook friends seen the important points she was trying to emphasize and agreed that kids shouldn’t be forced to just say yes to what other people say.

To sum it up, children should be taught that aside from their manners and good practices, that they are entitled to their free will. Therefore, they can still reject or refuse in a nice way whenever they want to say no.


How about you? Would you teach your kid the same thing?

Written by Reese Barcelon

Reese was an online novelist way back 2011. She began her voyage with a pen and paper in hand, which advanced into a laptop after some time. Living in a fictional world with the books she read and dramas she watched gave her solace and became her happy pill.

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