In life we commonly have problems. Yes, we do. It’s inevitable that we experience not-so-good circumstances.
People who have no problems are lucky enough. Do these real people exist? I guess they’re not or maybe 1/3 of the world’s population are exempted for a day just to name a few.
From little misunderstanding to money debts and family crisis, we aren’t immune with trials. But do you know, some of the people have problems because they have problems within themselves.
Many of us who have problems aren’t happy with ourselves. We call ourselves unfortunate and twin of emergency events. In short, wherever we are it’s as if troubles don’t get tired chasing on us.
People have problems BECAUSE they do not love themselves.
Like for example, debtor who cannot pay the borrowed money to another person/ institution hasn’t thought that buying excessive goods, shopping everywhere, swiping cards side by side will make himself suffer deeply in debt. He didn’t see a future of not owing money to any person and enjoying a life of financial freedom.
Seriously ill person gets the results of his labor because over the years he preferred not to love himself. You will know by the food he ate, the lifestyle he chose, the countless cigarette sticks he lighted on.
I, who admittedly honest having issues within myself, get to deal with it with these steps. Am not saying I manage to do all these things yet striving hard, little by little to love myself a bit more each day.
From the moment we think we are not lovable because of our appearance, our weaknesses, our disabilities or any reasons we may have in our mind, it’s really difficult to be happy without liking oneself. And how can we like ourselves so we can be truly happy? We blow the things that might help you.
1.) Greet yourself with happiness and affection
Say “Hi” to yourself each morning! Right after you wake up, face the mirror and blurt out “Hi gorgeously beautiful” “Hi, handsome man”.
You might tell that, oh this is super crazy. Why would I talk to myself in such an insane way?
Talking to oneself doesn’t mean you have a mental disorder. We called it intrapersonal communication. This is really needed especially when you are making decisions in life and highlighting priorities. In such a way, you’ll get to reorganize your thoughts clearly and importantly.
Another reason why it’s on the first list is because each morning you wake up, when you see yourself smiling and taking a positive note, you will carry that attitude all through out the day.
You’re accountable of your feelings. Right? Situation may appear uncontrollable but your feeling about it is always under your control. Choose. So you better choose wisely.
2.) Accept yourself as who you are
Accept who you are. So easy to said than done but not impossible. People say if you belittle yourself, everyone else will. Don’t try to dig a hole and deep yourself alive into the ground. Above anyone else, you know yourself more.
A woman who’s hiding the scars on her face cannot help but to envy ladies trying different hairstyles- cutting it short, wearing extensions, tying it up. For her, she can only lend her hair straight, covering her face. It’s the only style she thinks that looks good on her. While that lady curses the visible blemishes, she does know realize that it’s eating her whole being.
Always remember the scars, wherever you got it, doesn’t dictate that your whole life is a total mess. The pain is there. The pain is present. People will see it. They will judge. But do not judge your own. It’s part of your wholeness. It’s part of how you were formed today.
We’re vulnerable to commit mistakes. We feel frustrated when we failed. Embrace the whole you. Accept that you are perfectly imperfect and that makes you unique and one-of-a-kind.
3. Forgive yourself
You’re a mother of three. You left them with your ex-husband. You minded only about yourself. You acted like a single lady. You never thought of them.
You’re a grown man now. You take drugs notoriously. Phew! You gave your family with mind-aching problems. You’re the black sheep of the family.
Heaven yeah, we commit wrongdeeds. We thought we are not good and so people hate us. They hate our attitude and because they hate it, you turn to hate yourself too. Man, forgive yourself. Love instead of hate.
Remember, when you truly love yourself, you don’t treat anyone your enemies. People may hate you but you have too much love and not hate to give them back.
4.) Nurture yourself, Nourish you need
Wanna live your life until your grandaughters and sons receive their diplomas? get into a stable job and start their own family?
There’s no problem about it. Nurture yourself. You can live longer except if emergency takes place. But you can heighten the probability of living longer if you nurture yourself.
If you truly care about yourself and completely loving every tissue of it, you should nourish your body.
Do things that will benefit you. In physical aspect, if you want to lose weight you better exercise thrice a day, go out then try every sports you like, eat nutritious food, and manage a healthy lifestyle.
In your career, if you feel you’ve been living like a hamster on a wheel, going around in a loop but actually clueless where to head over, it’s time to decide and work out your passion. Wake up and do yourself a favor. You’re doing a big favor for your company to leave as you aren’t delivering the performance and expectations they have on you.
5.) Set your Boundaries
I love this tip. It’s simple. I don’t need to put so much effort in explaining this matter. Don’t belong in a group that may harm you or put you on fire.
Mingling with angry people will make you be like them sooner than later.
Wanna get out of debts? Leave the spender’s clan and join in savers’ group and soon to blend with investors’ circle.
6.) Affirm Yourself
Wanted to do something that will have a good effect on you? Oh common, this is similar with tip 1 though you still need few more minutes to do this.
Give yourself a five minute break. Every single day you will face the mirror, look upon yourself, talk loudly and say good things about the blessings you receive, the good looking people around you or anything that makes you thankful.
“I’m gorgeously handsome. I have great talents to offer to the world. I can’t help not to be awesome. I’m worthy to be loved and to be hold. I’m beautifully created. Thank you is an understatement to express how grateful I am to live this life….” and so on..
Do this in three months. Confidence and self-esteem must come into play. In order to be happy, you need to get a positive mindset first so you can live the life you deserve.
7.) Invest in Great Relationship
An excerpt from Rick Warren’s The Purpose Driven Life will justify and open your eyes how important it is to invest time in building good relationship among people. Here it goes.
Love leaves a legacy. How you treated other people, not your wealth or accomplishments, is the most enduring impact you can leave on earth. As Mother Teresa said, “It’s not what you do, but how much love you put into it that matters.” Love is the secret of a lasting heritage.
I have been at the bedside of many people in their final moments, when they stand on the edge of eternity, and I have never heard anyone say, “Bring me my diplomas! I want to look at them one more time. Show me my awards, my medals, that gold watch I was given.” When life on earth is ending, people don’t surround themselves with objects. What we want around us is people-people we love and have relationships with.
In our final moments we all realize that relationships are what life is all about. Wisdom is learning that truth sooner rather than later. Don’t wait until you’re on your deathbed to figure out that nothing matters more.
8.) Keep Growing
Learning is vital and essential to our lives.
If we stop learning, then the only thing we can do is settle with what we already know; if we settle for that, then there is no way to expand our minds. Expansion is essential on the path to success. Since our minds require learning for expansion, we must never stop seeking new knowledge.
Imagine what would have happened if Bill Gates stopped learning and growing. The internet would be much more primitive than it is today. But because he followed his dreams and continued growing, he founded one of the biggest companies in the world and it is still flourishing and growing today.
9.) Follow your dreams
I humbly ask you to visit the nearest cemetery in your place. Take a walk. See unfamiliar tombs. Of course, do not go there in evening. But if you want to scare yourself why not? No, I’m just kidding.
The main purpose is to offer them serene peace and staying there will make you realize that many of them, if not all, lost their dreams, buried it along with them.
RIP for the songs we haven’t heard, paintings we haven’t seen, airplanes that the pilot’s haven’t flown.
You must have known how lucky you are. Maximize this time. Create things you’re born to do.
10.) Serve others who need your love
“No man is an island”.
Cliche at its finest yet very true. Relating with building good relationships, there are people who are needing your help in any form.
Give kindness to all people and God will shower you seven hundredfolds.
Happiness is more genuine when shared by two, by three, by four, and more.